VIOLENT CLASH BETWEEN ANGLO SAXON AND VIKING ARMIES AT WHITBY ABBEY 2018
Reports have been coming in that a fierce encounter between these two warring sides has erupted at the sacred site of Whitby Abbey.
The cause of the conflict is still unknown.
Lets speak to some of the people who were there.
Prior Godwyn would you give us an account of whats happened at Whitby Abbey?
“So, the weary travellers of Ordgar arrived at the monastery of Whitby and set up camp in the wind and squall. The group huddled around the campfire that evening to keep the wind and cold at bay and told stories as the dark crept in. The next morning was fine and everyone was in fine spirit. The Prior found a penetrant in young Alfred as he gave lewd signals in front of the public on his way to a skirmish with Vikings that morn. He found absolution from his sin on his return after taking a knee, repenting and supplying the church with coin for his indulgence. The sun shone and the heathen Viking raiders who turned up later that day were turned from the abbey by the good Christian fyrd of the Saxons. Godwyn demonstrated his gory infirmarian skills to the public and they found this surprisingly repugnant. Surely it is Gods will whether a man becomes well and that illness is a judgement upon the unworthy? That evening it became cold later but there were indulgences by all with drink, singing, curious crisps and drumming around the Ordgar campfire. The next day was cold and wet, atonement for the previous night. The wind blew down awnings and the rain fell. I hear that the battle was as ferocious as the day before but I know not of the outcome as the lady Aelfina and I had to pack up and leave at day to travel back to Norwic. Others from the Ordgar contingent stayed that night so would be better placed to tell of the next day’s event.”
Thank you Prior Godwyn.
Ah, a Saxon fisherman, can you tell us your name?
Fiscbrut in your own words please tell us what has happened at Whitby Abbey?
“Whitby was Seagulls , Wind, Full Moon, Vampires, Chips, Machine Gun Fire, Bowl carving, Geordies and Awesome…..”
Erm… thank you Fiscbrut, clearly the poor man has sustained a blow to the head.
I can see a young viking warrior up ahead, at the risk of being disembowled or made a slave, I’m going to ask him his side of the story.
Hael young warrior, when you have finished washing the blood off your axe, would you tell us of the events, here at Whitby Abbey?
“My name is Torstein Sigvardrson and this is my tale.”
“The house of God sat on a hill overlooking the whale road, a pity that they didn’t have the eyes to see us streaming towards them. An easy raid said Ivar, his brother too, as soon as they saw us though the monks flew. We set upon the monastery burning and stealing, the poorer men snatched sheep and some monks who could or would not run and returned to the ships. But the Saxons had seen us and were waiting, a sea of shields ready to be stirred by our storm of swords. The leaders parlayed, fools, did they not know why we came? We charged and the lines crashed, the battle ebbed and flowed like a river, but they had the better of us. Our line fell back, pricked by battle thorns I led siglief and Sigurd away, as we scarpered to the ships with my honour hurt. When I saw our leaders Ivar and Ubbe, my honour was slightly healed. Ivar and Ubbe have powerful friends, who wanted part of the sacking of the monastery, after a few weeks we were ready for the final assault. They expected us again, I suspect they heard our merrymaking carried by the wind by the gods as they were many more than the last time. But so were we, with calls on the gods Odin and Thor on our lips, we crashed into the Saxon line. The fighting fierce, the Saxons put a lot of stock in stone buildings and dead men on crosses. Their left flank fell and as my arms became soaked to the shoulder, we swept round like a wave of blades and surrounded the remaining Saxons. It was not a battle but a slaughter, they fell crying and calling for their god and their mothers. The battle was over and the plunder began, I and Bjorn found ourselves in the fish market, ravaging the stalls and coveting the goods. I was set upon my skraelings who spoke with strange accents, though I could barely understand them. They demanded I stay still and several of them held me.in place as they scratched my likeness into stone. A strange day indeed!”
Thank you Torstein.
Ah, some pictures have just come in, lets take a look.